
DOCTOR RIVERS' FREAK SHOW
[Verse]
At Doctor Rivers' Freak Show
the customer's always right
even if they lose their marbles
and stop sleeping at night.
'Cause this show is no illusion.
What you see is real.
Hip to hip I am attached to
my sister Maggie Hill.
If you scream don't be bashful.
I see it every night.
Just remember to make a stop
at the booth on your right.
[Chorus]
Won't you buy a postcard.
Won't you buy a print.
It tells you my whole story
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry
or have something to regret,
but I really love the theater.
Oh, won't you buy a print.
​
[Verse]
Drop a nickel in the box
take a seat where you please.
Be patient for once the music stops
there'll be plenty more to see.
I'd ask you to sign a waiver
for our last routine,
but I don't know any jury
that would accept what you'll see.
You may have heard about this place
from some stranger or friend.
It's true we have a human snake
so grab your wife and come on in.
​
[Chorus]
Won't you buy a postcard.
Won't you buy a print.
It tells you my whole story
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry
or have something to regret,
but I really love the theater.
Oh, won't you buy a print.
[Verse]
After the show, if you’re curious
you can stand with me and my twin.
Put your hand on our hip, don’t be shy
after all it's only skin.
We've seen all the doctors,
been through all the ranks.
There's nothing they will ever dissect
that comes close to our fate.
Don't worry about the money.
Who could put a price on these thrills?
You're gonna want to take something home
so I'll cut you a deal.
​
[Chorus]
Won't you buy a postcard.
Won't you buy a print.
It tells you my whole story
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry
or have something to regret,
but I really love the theater.
Oh, won't you buy a print.
​
[Verse]
Yesterday I went out walking
on four legs with my twin,
but everyone I gave kisses to
the preacher called a sin.
You see there's no other place for me
but this stage lifted high.
All my life I've been living
on your tips that get me by.
Though I wouldn't trade my trailer
for a penthouse on the strip,
I appreciate your kindness,
oh won't you buy a print?
​
[Chorus]
Won't you buy a postcard.
Won't you buy a print.
It tells you my whole story
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry
or have something to regret,
but I really love the theater.
Oh, won't you buy a print.