DOCTOR RIVERS' FREAK SHOW

[Verse] 
At Doctor Rivers' Freak Show 
the customer's always right 
even if they lose their marbles 
and stop sleeping at night. 
'Cause this show is no illusion. 
What you see is real. 
Hip to hip I am attached to 
my sister Maggie Hill. 
If you scream don't be bashful. 
I see it every night. 
Just remember to make a stop 
at the booth on your right.

 

[Chorus]  
Won't you buy a postcard. 
Won't you buy a print. 
It tells you my whole story 
and only costs a cent. 
You may think that I'm sorry 
or have something to regret, 
but I really love the theater. 
Oh, won't you buy a print. 

[Verse] 
Drop a nickel in the box 
take a seat where you please. 
Be patient for once the music stops 
there'll be plenty more to see. 
I'd ask you to sign a waiver 
for our last routine, 
but I don't know any jury 
that would accept what you'll see. 
You may have heard about this place 
from some stranger or friend. 
It's true we have a human snake 
so grab your wife and come on in. 

[Chorus] 
Won't you buy a postcard. 
Won't you buy a print. 
It tells you my whole story 
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry 
or have something to regret, 
but I really love the theater. 
Oh, won't you buy a print. 


[Verse] 
After the show, if you’re curious  
you can stand with me and my twin. 
Put your hand on our hip, don’t be shy 
after all it's only skin. 
We've seen all the doctors, 
been through all the ranks. 
There's nothing they will ever dissect  
that comes close to our fate. 
Don't worry about the money. 
Who could put a price on these thrills? 
You're gonna want to take something home 
so I'll cut you a deal. 

[Chorus]  
Won't you buy a postcard. 
Won't you buy a print. 
It tells you my whole story 
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry 
or have something to regret, 
but I really love the theater. 
Oh, won't you buy a print. 

[Verse] 
Yesterday I went out walking  
on four legs with my twin, 
but everyone I gave kisses to 
the preacher called a sin. 
You see there's no other place for me 
but this stage lifted high. 
All my life I've been living 
on your tips that get me by. 
Though I wouldn't trade my trailer 
for a penthouse on the strip, 
I appreciate your kindness, 
oh won't you buy a print? 

[Chorus] 
Won't you buy a postcard. 
Won't you buy a print. 
It tells you my whole story 
and only costs a cent.
You may think that I'm sorry 
or have something to regret, 
but I really love the theater. 
Oh, won't you buy a print.