They had to close the soup kitchen 
to give everyone an intervention. 
This town drinks too much. 
 
That whole street is lined with fast cash banks 
where desperate times are paid in advance. 
This town drinks too much. 
 
I remember the week Sidebar ran dry 
and a few of us drove to Durango to buy 
a truckload of kegs and other supplies 
but a snow drift had sealed the pass. 
 
Our only choice was to dig a tunnel 
using our union cards as shovels. 
You've never seen so much hustle. 
This town drinks too much. 
 
Now we keep stockpiles underground. 
Even some clergymen own safes downtown 
where they keep bags of wine and several rounds 
of cheap Spanish brandy. 
 
Our sheriff runs a kitchen on the side 
that serves the worst burgers countywide 
but at noon he gives out tasters of rye. 
This town drinks too much.  
 
Many would wait 'till after five as a rule 
but not the ones who are in school 
even the professors bend the rules 
if you take an evening class. 
 
And if you don't want to wait in line 
ask a barista if they mind 
and they'll fill you up past the line. 
This town drinks too much. 
 
But I better not judge too harshly 
since last night at a town meeting 
I went around after one too many  
telling people I know Jason Lee. 
   
Now I'm hiding my head hungover. 
I know the pain it makes you stronger. 
Think I'll stay in bed a little longer. 
This town drinks too much.